June 06, 2003
WHEN BACON BECOMES SOAP

"Bacon makes everything crazy. Tie two hot dogs together with bacon. Strangle Bay scallops with bacon. Devil an egg and then stab it with bacon. Stick seventy-seven strips of bacon up a Cornish hen's ass. Rape a baked potato with bacon. Fuck with your peanut butter sandwich. When it's expecting the grape jam, hit it with the bacon...."

Completely off the news-cycle, but funny all the same: idiots making "bacon soap."

"This is bacon fat....It's nasty, gloppy shit that can turn brown paper bags into picture windows and in no way resembles anything resembling soap. But once you add a deadly, noxious poison whose most prized characteristic is the ability to melt hair, that fat will toughen up a bit."

Posted by phrisky at June 06, 2003 11:11 AM
Comments

We're idiots?! Come on now. That's a bit harsh. It's not like we're bloggers.

--E

Posted by: Eric Gillin on June 6, 2003 01:57 PM

Idiots as in idiot savants, I think. The piece is fucking brilliant. Except I can't imagine personally wasting all that perfectly good bacon to make soap. I'm glad somebody else took the time.

Posted by: tmonkey on June 6, 2003 02:52 PM

It's not like we read our IP logs.

Posted by: dbrown on June 6, 2003 03:49 PM

if slavin will help, i volunteer to try this. kevin: kindly bring back a pound of Germany's finest pork products.

Posted by: hirmes on June 7, 2003 12:30 AM

Three things:

1. All of Germany's pork products are it's finest pork products.

2. There is no difference, in German, between "pig" and "pork." Don't ask me what the name is here for Porky Pig, I don't know.

3. I'm never coming back.

Posted by: Kevin Slavin on June 7, 2003 12:28 PM

trying to find an answer to the Porky Pig in Germany question leads instead to this:

The low symbolic pig wallows everywhere in Pynchon's writing all right, but it often gets hybridized with high elements within the subjects of the novels. Among Gravity's Rainbow's approximately 400 characters you may run into one "Andre Omnopon, of the feathery Rilke mustaches and Porky Pig tattoo on stomach" (711), who is, moreover, going to play a hybrid, apocryphal classic with his Counterforce chamber orchestra: the Haydn Kazoo Quartet in G-Flat Minor -- 'kazoo' being this fart-sounding mouth harp that provides cheap thrills.

Posted by: dbrown on June 7, 2003 03:34 PM
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